


Kiss And Cry

by charincharge



Category: The Folk of the Air - Holly Black
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Competition, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Ice Skating, Rivalry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:40:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24676264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charincharge/pseuds/charincharge
Summary: A figure skating AU. All Jude wants this year is to come in first at Nationals. And also stay away from her newest teammate and biggest competitor, Cardan Greenbriar.
Relationships: Jude Duarte/Cardan Greenbriar
Comments: 75
Kudos: 253





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Someone requested a prompt of Jude and Cardan skating. This is definitely not what they had in mind, but I ran with it.

Jude’s favorite part of the day was early morning, before anyone else was awake. She’d head to the skating rink as soon as it opened, anxious to be the first person to have her blades slice through the freshly smoothed over ice. It was her meditation, soothing and centering her for the day to come.

Which was why Jude was extremely confused to hear music coming from the rink as she opened the doors at 6:03am.

Skates slung over her shoulder, she made her way to the bleachers to see who had beaten her in this morning.

She watched in awe as the blur of pale skin and black fabric sped around the outside of the rink. Skates sped up as the figure took off into a double lutz, straight into a triple axel and nailed the landing with sure footing. Despite Jude’s annoyance at being beat into the rink, she couldn’t deny the beauty and grace of the skater in front of her.

The figure came to a stop in front of where she stood with a cocky smile, and Jude’s brow immediately furrowed. She knew them. She’d recognize those dark eyes and malicious smile anywhere.

“Cardan?” she choked out.

“Jude,” he smirked, starting his backwards crossovers. “Are you going to stare all day or join me, my dear?”

Jude flicked him off and went to put on her skates as he took off around the rink again.

“I’m not your dear, asshole,” she muttered as she tightened her laces and put on her gloves. Cardan was the last person Jude wanted to share her morning meditation with. He was her biggest competition in the circuit. He and his partner Nicasia had edged Jude and her partner Locke out of first place every year at Nationals for the last three years. And Jude was growing tired of coming in second.

As she made her way onto the ice, her toe-pick caught, and Jude lurched forward. Of course, Cardan had already dinged up the ice. She barely even saw him approach, he sped toward her so fast. His gloved hand reached hers and caught her before she lost her balance entirely. He spun her around, and Jude extricated herself from his grasp, taking off to do her own morning warm up.

His music pounded in her ears. A compilation of too loud opera from a heavy baritone. Jude’s skin prickled with annoyance as Cardan weaved his way in and out of her path as she tried to get into her groove.

“O Fortuna, really, Cardan?” she grumbled, wishing she’d been able to put on her own playlist. She’d much rather be listening to Mazzy Star than this overused drek. “Could you be any more cliché?”

He shrugged and cut her off in her path again. She knew he was goading her on purpose. No one was this annoying accidentally.

“You’re looking a little thick, Jude. Getting ready to hibernate for the winter?”

Jude flicked him off and tried to skate faster. She knew she was curvier than a typical skater, but Jude knew she was more dense muscle than anything else. And she could probably crush Cardan with her thighs if he kept this up.

So naturally, he refused to leave her alone. Her solitude was completely ruined, and Jude couldn’t focus with him shadowing her around the rink. Finally, having enough of it, Jude shot her foot out behind her into a wide arabesque.

Cardan caught the skate right in time, gripping it where it just barely missed pressing into the skin of this throat. Jude flipped her hips around and leaned up, letting the blade come into contact with his bobbing Adam’s apple.

His eyes burned into hers as he skated forward, still not releasing her foot from its precarious position below his jaw.

He spun her around, his skate spraying ice around them as he suddenly brought them to a stop. He tossed Jude’s foot onto the ground and skated forward, pushing Jude’s back against the side of the rink as he boxed her in with his arms.

Jude’s heart pounded against her chest, and she could feel her pulse beating through her entire body as she breathed heavily. Cardan’s lips curled into a smirk as his hands went to her waist. More than a little annoyed at the casual way his hands laid on her, Jude pushed against his chest, swapping their positions so Cardan was pressed up against the side.

Jude couldn’t deny that Cardan was extremely good looking, and one of like two male figure skaters who was into women she’d ever met in her entire life. From his tousled dark curls to his dark eyes, high cheekbones, and bow lips, Cardan knew exactly what he was doing with the opposite sex. And wasn’t shy about it. In fact, his reputation in her skating league was legendary. She didn’t think there was a single skater Cardan hadn’t bedded. Well, except for Jude, that was.

Jude tilted her chin up, examining his face closer. His dark eyes peered down at her, his thick fringe of lashes brushing daintily over his pale cheeks. It was unusual for Jude to see him like this – unadorned with makeup. During shows, his cheeks were caked in gold highlighter, and his eyes rimmed in dark kohl, his lashes lengthened with unnecessary mascara, turning his lashes impossibly long. Even bare faced, he was entirely too good looking. Jude loathed it.

He raised a too-groomed eyebrow at her, and Jude gripped the fabric of his shirt in her hand, wanting to pull his cocky smile closer and push it as far away as she possibly could.

“Oh good!” A loud clap from the stands had Jude jumping away from Cardan just in time for her coach, Madoc, to appear in the bleachers. “Jude, you’ve met our newest team member – Cardan. He and Nicasia will be joining us for the rest of the season.”

_Well, fuck._


	2. Chapter 2

It took all of Jude’s patience to make it through practice without blowing up. Being on the same team as her rival was not in her plans this year. It didn’t help that Cardan seemed to sense her fury and tried to ignite it in any way he could. But she kept her anger at a reasonably low simmer, just boiling beneath the surface.

As soon as practice ended, Jude slid on her sneakers and sprinted out to the parking lot after Madoc, chasing him down, ready to unleash.

“Coach!” she cried out to Madoc. “What the hell?”

Madoc turned sternly, fixing his face in a mask of calm before answering. “Would you like to rephrase that?”

Jude stomped her foot on the icy asphalt, still patchy from last week’s snow. “Why would you bring our biggest competitors to my team? We’ll never make it to Worlds with them hovering and knowing our routine. And you know Cardan is going to sabotage us. He’s _evil_. Why’d he even leave his coach anyway? They’ve been with Eldred forever.”

Madoc simply rolled his eyes at the seething girl in front of him.

“Why would I not want both placing pairs on my team? Hm?” He picked a piece of lint off his glove and flicked it to the ground. “Eldred is retiring. Lost his taste for competition in his old age, I suppose. Unrelatable,” Madoc muttered. “Now, instead of questioning my methods, I believe you’re late for your gym session. Make sure to add an extra mile to your cardio. And no weights today. If you don’t lose some of that heft, Locke’s going to need a crane to lift you.”

_Fuck you, too._

Madoc disappeared into his car, leaving Jude even more flustered and furious than when she started. Luckily, she could burn off some of her energy in the gym.

Of course, the only open treadmill was the one on the end next to Cardan. He’d changed from his skating clothes into a black compression t-shirt and gym shorts, his pale glistening skin contrasting against his dark clothes, making him look even more like a fairy tale villain. Even his fucking sneakers were black. But the centerpiece of his outfit was the glittering gold headband pushing his dark curls away from his forehead.

Jude hopped onto her machine and started her warm up jog. “Cute hairband,” she said, pointing directly at the shiny accessory. Cardan smirked and flipped his finger at her, not breaking his run.

“I forgot my sweatband. It’s Nicasia’s,” he said far too smoothly for someone who’d been running for the last… Jude looked over at his display to see his settings and was shocked to see he’d already been running for twenty minutes. She really _had_ taken her sweet time getting to the gym.

“It suits you,” she said with a low chuckle, and Cardan simply rolled his eyes and increased his speed.

“Everything suits me, darling.”

_Cocky bastard._

Jude didn’t want to waste any more of her workout time being distracted by Cardan, and put her earbuds into her ears. As her workout playlist progressed, Jude raised the speed little by little to match the tempo. She could feel her thighs starting to burn and remembered Madoc’s words about her muscles. She had no desire to lose any bulk. Madoc could fuck right off with his body critique. She’d just encourage Locke to lift heavier in the gym. They’d figure it out.

Sweat beaded across Jude’s skin as she finished her extra mile of her run. Six miles. A hefty feat. Knowing she’d need to stretch out immediately or risk cramping and sore muscles, she headed to the mats, which luckily were empty. Cardan, Nicasia and Locke were all mid-weight lifting regimen.

She went through a simple stretch routine, but she could feel the backs of her hamstrings tightening, and she needed them at full flexibility. Groaning, she laid on her back again and pulled one leg into her chest. She adjusted her grip on her thigh to try and pull it closer, but her fatigued leg kept shaking and wrestling its way out of her grasp. The third time she adjusted herself, she felt a body kneel beside her and helped push the leg down slowly.

“Exhale into it,” Cardan’s smooth voice said, and Jude couldn’t help but tense beneath him. “That’s the opposite of what you need to do, Jude,” he chuckled.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she sputtered as his hands slid down the back of her thigh, wrapping around them with gentle pressure.

“Just exhale into it, Jude,” he repeated, sounding bored.

Furious but unable to escape him, she followed his instructions, inhaling and then exhaling loudly. On the exhale, he pushed more of his weight against the back of her thigh, hovering himself over his leg, so his chest was pressed against the back of her calf and her ankle rested atop his shoulder. An embarrassingly loud moan ripped its way from Jude’s mouth, and she hated the self-satisfied smirk that crossed. Cardan’s face. His black eyes twinkled as he looked down at her, trapped beneath his hard body.

“Now, that wasn’t so difficult, was it?” he asked. “Try it again.”

As Jude exhaled again, Cardan rested more of his body against her, and her leg fell back more. His face hovered dangerously close to hers, and Jude hated the way her body warmed uncomfortably under his piercing gaze.

“I hate you,” Jude gritted out between breaths, but Cardan simply laughed.

“You’ll hate me more when we switch legs.” He pressed into her thigh just a smidge more, pushing it to its absolute limit. “Your standing leg won’t be nearly as flexible.” He paused, looking over her face, lowering his head so it was barely a breath away from hers. “Which is a shame for me.”

“I swear, if you put your junk anywhere near me—” Jude spat out, but Cardan interrupted her by telling her it was time to switch legs. She wanted to refuse, but she couldn’t deny that he was actually helping her.

Cardan was right. Her left leg was much stiffer than her right, and she and Cardan had to work slowly and surely to breathe into the stretch. It barely reached a 45 degree angle. His thumbs alternated putting pressure on the back of her thigh, massaging the muscle lightly as it quivered beneath his weight. Jude watched with interest as his dark brows furrowed as he helped her through her stretch. He seemed to genuinely want to help, despite his bad attitude. She struggled to reconcile the two warring behaviors.

Plus, this close, Jude could see every flicker of Cardan’s eyes as they perused her body. She whimpered softly as his thumbs dug in harder to her thigh, and her leg stretched just barely an inch more.

“Good girl,” he said with a sly grin, and Jude hated how her body came to life at his words. She was repulsed by him, she mentally reminded herself. And she should be appalled, nay, horrified by how close she’d let him get to her. She refused to let Cardan work his slutty magic on her.

Self-conscious of his proximity, Jude pushed up against his chest, and finally lowered her leg, breathing far too hard for a slow stretching session. What was wrong with her?

Cardan reached a hand down to help her stand, but she refused.

“I can get up on my own,” she insisted, and Cardan simply rolled his dark eyes at her.

“So stubborn,” he chastised her. “But, having me around can have its advantages.”

He went to poke her in the arm, but Jude jumped back.

“Don’t touch me! God only knows where those fingers have been.” She didn’t want to imagine it, either.

Unfazed, Cardan ran his finger under his nose and shrugged. “No, they’re clean today.”

Jude’s jaw dropped uncomfortably. She bristled as she shouted out a, “You’re disgusting,” and hurried off to the locker room to shower.

“See you at lunch!” he called after her.


	3. Chapter 3

Jude didn’t see Cardan at lunch that day. Or the next. Or any day that week. There was something about his sudden presence in her life that irked her so greatly that she started going out of her way to avoid him.

She hated it.

Why should she have to change her schedule to accommodate him? By the time the end of the week had arrived, Jude had resigned herself to evading him forever. But Jude’s plans never went according to plan.

Although she usually arrived just as Cardan and Nicasia were finishing on the ice, today Jude was early. She warmed up on the bleachers as she watched them finish their practice. And if the scowl across Cardan’s face was any indication, it was not going well.

Madoc clapped loudly in time with the overwrought music as Nicasia and Cardan worked on their new short program – some clichéd opera Jude couldn’t quite put her finger on. Having placed at Nationals last year, Madoc was anxious for a repeat and Jude could tell he had choreographed a very difficult routine for them.

Jude watched with interest as the pair work on their combination lift – an especially challenging one where Nicasia would be upright over Cardan’s shoulder, held by her waist, as he spun, and then somersault her into a lasso lift, held by one hand and one foot. Nicasia would then put her feet down for barely a second before Cardan spun her out into a throw jump. The lifts had almost been nailed, but Jude hadn’t seen Niciasia land her jump once.

She cringed as Nicasia fell to the ice again with a loud scrape.

Madoc turned off the music and sighed. “That’s enough for today.”

Nicasia practically growled as she wiped the flakes of ice from her thick black leggings and asked Madoc for one more try.

“No,” he said resolutely, making Jude’s eyebrows rise.

Cardan skated to the side of the rink and Jude watched as he grabbed his water bottle and poured some water into his mouth. She didn’t realize she was even looking at him until he placed the bottle back down and winked at her, a wry smirk appearing on his lips as he pushed his sweat-laden hair out of his face.

“Come on, Nic, we’re both exhausted. We’ll get it tomorrow,” Cardan panted, but Nicasia was resolute.

“I will get this jump _today_ , Cardan.”

Jude had never seen Cardan out of sorts before, and it was slightly intriguing to see. She thought his relationship with Nicasia was unbreakable. The pair had been skating together for the better part of a decade, starting in middle school. But it looked like the edges were fraying.

Cardan rolled his dark eyes. “We’re cutting into Jude and Locke’s practice time.”

Jude looked at the clock and saw he was right. They were three minutes overdue for switching. But Nicasia was unshakable.

“We can work in the corner.”

Cardan looked to Madoc, as if he might be able to talk some sense into his partner, but Madoc simply shrugged, leaving Cardan to make the decision himself.

“Fine.” Cardan finally acquiesced, and the smile on Nicasia’s face was blinding. She smoothed back her blue black hair and skated over to Cardan, wrapping her arm around his waist, and placed a long lingering kiss on his cheek.

Jude was so focused on Nicasia’s lips on Cardan’s face that she didn’t even hear Locke walk up beside her, as he mumbled under his breath, “That’s not going to end well…”

Jude flicked him a questioning look.

“They’ve been on and off forever, and it looks like… they’re about to be off again,” Locke whispered. “They always skate better when they’re fucking.”

Jude examined the tension in Cardan’s shoulders as Nicasia rubbed her hand up and down his back and hummed to herself. She didn’t have time to think about it too much because Madoc was having them run through their own short nearly immediately.

Jude let the steady drum beat of the Panic! At the Disco song flow through her body as she began to skate. The song was such a stark contrast to the classical piece that Cardan and Nicasia had chosen, it was nearly laughable. The choreography was almost as difficult, though, and Jude had been struggling with the jump combination into a lift. She kept falling half a turn short on the second axel, and it was driving her and Madoc both insane.

As she geared up for the jump, Jude’s skates increased in speed, slicing through the ice steadily. Using a form on the other side of the rink to help her spot, for the first time, Jude nailed the jump. Her skate landed perfectly, her leg extended in the exact perfect position to be lifted onto Locke’s shoulders.

She smiled as she reached out with her arms, the adrenaline of her success propelling her into the rest of the routine.

So caught up in the choreography, Jude didn’t even hear the large crash on the other side of the rink. Didn’t hear the loud screaming that turned to sobs as Nicasia’s tired knee and ankle buckled under her weight, contorting unnaturally as she hit the ice.

She only stopped skating when she went to enter another lift and Locke’s arms weren’t there to grab her. She stopped her spin, ears pounding with her heavy pulse as she watched Cardan, Madoc and Locke rush to where Nicasia’s shoulders heaved, slumped over in painful defeat.

Jude skated closer, apprehensively, as Madoc simultaneously shouted into his phone for an ambulance between comforting coos to the clearly injured girl, watching her chance at a career slip away, all with a single ill-fated fall.

She watched as Cardan scooped her up from the ice, cradling her against his chest, his arms precariously placed beneath her good leg, as he helped her off the ice.

Tears streamed down Nicasia’s cheeks in angry rivulets, her teeth bared in pain. Now it was Cardan’s turn to rub her back soothingly, soft strokes against her back, as she cried into him.

The music shut off abruptly as Madoc deemed practice over. In a daze, Jude followed everyone out to the parking lot, where Nicasia was being loaded into the back of an ambulance. She overheard Cardan say that he would call her mom as he hopped in with her, and Madoc patted the back of the car as it sped away, sirens blaring.

Should she go to the hospital too? Jude felt that she barely knew Nicasia. But there was no moment feared more in any skaters life than knee injury. There was no telling what tendons and muscles were destroyed in her fall. Would she need surgery? Would she be able to skate again? Would she able to _walk_ again?

No, Jude decided. She wouldn’t go to the hospital. She had no business hovering around Nicasia as she dealt with this trauma.

Instead, Jude made her way back onto the ice. She put on her skating playlist and let the music consume her as she moved across the ice. She didn’t stop skating until her feet were practically numb from being confined to her skates for hours.

As the opening chords to “Skyfall” came on, tears formed at the corners of Jude’s eyes. She released the tension she’d been holding onto since she saw Nicasia on the ground. She was just so incredibly grateful to have the use of her legs. She knew it could all disappear in the blink of an eye.

Wind whipped around her long hair as she spun, her skate over her head, blade in her hand, and she closed her eyes and reveled in the feeling.

As she finished her spin, the hairs on the back of her neck raised. She felt as if someone were watching her. She opened her eyes and looked around the rink, but the lights had been dimmed, and she couldn’t see another soul in the rink.

Not thinking twice about it, she finally made her way off the ice, determined to make the most of each day she was able to. She’d never take skating for granted. Not in this lifetime, anyway.

When she emerged from the locker room, after taking a long, hot shower and changing into sweats, there was a skater on the ice. She’d know his form anywhere by now. Cardan’s black skates sliced through the ice, his head tilted back and eyes closed. He was a truly beautiful skater, and Jude could tell the emotion coursing through his body was changing his movements, making them stronger, more powerful, more affected. It was too painful for Jude to watch, and probably too personal. When he choked out a single sob, Jude fled the premises, not wanting to intrude. And not wanting to see Cardan as anything other than completely unflappable.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY I LEFT YOU HANGING FOR SO LONG. My other fic is wrapping up now, and I will be focusing on this one for real now. Promise.

Madoc canceled practice for the rest of the week, which, with only two months until Nationals, was making Jude extremely nervous. She understood that Nicasia’s accident had taken Cardan out of the running, which Madoc was clearly upset about, but that didn’t mean that Jude and Locke could take it easy.

Jude made sure that Locke was back on the ice with her that day. She couldn’t slack off and lose steam now. They were so close.

Locke panted heavily as they wrapped up their practice. Sweat dripped down both their foreheads, muscles aching with fatigue.

Jude hopped off the ice and grabbed her phone, which had been recording their last run through, and she pressed play.

“You need to work on your landings,” Jude pointed to Locke’s shaky footwork after their double axel. “And here,” she pointed to his hand, which had fumbled around her hip while lifting her. “Hand to my waist, not my hip.”

Jude had no problem going through their game tape, looking for weaknesses and flaws. She would look for anything they could practice to oblivion to smooth out until they were nothing but icy perfection. This year she would be placing and making it to Worlds. There was no doubt in her mind.

Jude was so engrossed in the playback, she barely noticed anyone hovering behind her until she heard Cardan’s smooth voice. “You’re half a turn short there,” he pointed out.

“No, I’m not,” Jude said, indignant. She was sure Cardan had just come to annoy her. Why else would he be there? It wasn’t like he had a partner to practice with. Shouldn’t he be in the hospital at his best friend’s side?

“You want to win, right?” He paused. “Your triple was only two and a half.”

Jude rewound the video and replayed. He was right. She was. Damn it.

“The judges take off serious points for shit like that,” he said, flicking his dark hair out of his eyes. Jude fully turned to take him in, expecting him to look at least somewhat rattled from the events of yesterday, but Cardan was just as infuriatingly polished as if nothing had happened. His concentrated mask of confidence was only betrayed by the faintest traces of dark circles beneath his eyes.

“Good catch, Cardan,” Locke fawned, the admiration thick on his tongue. _Disgusting._ As if Cardan needed more people pining over him. It seemed now that Nicasia was out of the picture that Locke wanted to be tagged in. _Unrelatable._

“I’m all about teamwork,” Cardan replied with a wink, and Jude had to restrain from rolling her eyes at the soft pink blush that traveled up Locke’s neck and ears.

“I assumed you’d be off the team,” Jude said.

“Sorry to disappoint,” Cardan said with a shrug.

“Who’s the unlucky soul who gets to partner you now?” Jude asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

Cardan blinked twice, his thick fringe of lashes practically batting up and down at her, as he cocked his head. “I’m looking right at her.”

Jude shook her head. She couldn’t have heard him right. “What?” she asked.

“I didn’t realize you were dumb, too,” Cardan snickered, and a wave of fury took over Jude as she walked toward him.

His smirk fell from his face as she grew closer. He instinctively backed up a step until his calves were pressed against the bleachers. Nowhere left to go, Jude pressed her hand against his chest, just barely at the base of his neck, their faces merely inches as she seethed wildly.

“I already have a partner.” She looked over her shoulder at Locke, whose blush had faded, and he was looking pallid beneath the overhead fluorescent lights of the rink. “And a routine.”

She looked back at Cardan, his throat bobbing with a slow swallow as he wrapped his hand around hers and removed it from where it was dangerously close to strangling him.

“Yes, well,” Cardan cleared his throat. “Now you’ll be learning a new one.”

Blood rushed to Jude’s ears as she rushed to her cellphone to call her Coach. It went straight to voicemail, and Jude went to call back again when Madoc appeared, a scowl across his face as he made his way toward the three skaters.

“Madoc!” Jude began, but he held up his hand firmly.

“First of all,” Madoc sighed. “I thought I made it clear practice was canceled this week. But, since Garrett called me when you arrived, I thought I should show up and clear the air.”

Jude groaned. Garrett, the rink’s manager, was always getting the best gossip from befriending the skaters. It figured that he’d be reporting back to Madoc. Jude would bet there was even money in it for him. She went to complain again – there was no way she would leave Locke and skate with Cardan – but Madoc cut her off.

“I understand these are… not normal circumstances,” Madoc said. “But Cardan still wants to compete.”

“So find someone else,” Jude argued. “There are a billion skaters out who would love to be on our team.”

“Not who I trust to skate in Nationals,” Madoc snapped, and Jude was fairly certain that was the closest Madoc had ever come to complimenting her. He was trying to soften her up. Still, she remained resolute.

“I can’t skate with him.”

Madoc’s eyes narrowed. “That remains to be seen.” Jude opened her mouth to protest again, but Madoc silenced her. “Stop. You will continue to practice your routines with Locke, but you will also learn Nicasia’s parts in her routines with Cardan. At the end of four weeks, I will decide which pairing will compete at Nationals.”

Jude snapped her mouth shut. So, it wasn’t a definite. She could still skate with Locke. She just had to make sure that Madoc saw they were the better pair.

“Jude and Cardan, you will report to the studio tomorrow morning, so Jude can start learning the choreography off the ice,” Madoc began. “Then, you will report to the ice to keep practicing with Locke in the afternoons. Good?”

Jude nodded succinctly.

Satisfied, Madoc stalked off, leaving the skaters to deal with each other.

Jude expected Locke to look downtrodden by the prospect of a competition with Cardan, but he seemed to be glowing with excitement.

“So, we’re still on the same team, then,” Locke smiled. “For a few more weeks, at least.”

His grin widened as Cardan wrapped his arm around Locke’s shoulders and smirked at him coyly. “Please, Locke, we’re always on the same team in my heart.” Cardan placed his hand across his chest, clutching at his shirt, as he winked again.

Jude thought Locke was going to pass out with how thick Cardan was laying on his flirting, and Jude couldn’t stop the large roll of her eyes.

“Oh please. Nicasia’s been in the hospital for all of one day, and you’re already trying to get your dick wet?” She thought she saw him frown for the smallest second, but it was gone before she could even process it, so she kept berating him, hoping she could pin that frown there. “You can’t even go a few hours, huh?” she snipped.

“Language, Jude,” Cardan feigned shock as he chastised her and wrapped his arm more tightly around Locke, pulling him closer. “Don’t be jealous.”

“You could not pay me to touch you,” Jude scoffed. “Who even knows where that thing has been.” She didn’t want to hear another retort from Cardan and turned on her heel, heading to the locker room to shower, but Cardan shouted after her anyway.

“Seems like someone’s anxious to find out.” He laughed. “Please, Jude, you don’t have to pretend you don’t want me.”

She growled under her breath but didn’t turn around. But his words sloshed around her head as she showered off. She hated that he’d gotten in the last word. She knew it was his mission in life to drive her insane. And though she wouldn’t usually dare to, she decided she couldn’t ignore this one, couldn’t let him think she was remotely interested. She needed to squash that down before it became a _thing_. Especially if they were going to be skating together. She needed to set some boundaries. Some rules.

When she made it back out to the rink, Cardan was nowhere to be found. But his overly large SUV, that was most definitely overcompensating for something, was still in the lot.

So, against her better judgement, Jude made her way into the mens’ locker room.

She paused as soon as she entered, the realization that she’d made a grave mistake hitting her as soon as the door closed behind her. Because in front of her, was a bare-chested Cardan, head thrown back in ecstasy, leaning against the green lockers, dark eyes closed and lashes fluttering against his flushed cheeks, and fingers knotted in the head of red hair kneeling on the cold ground between his knees.

Jude backed into the door, a wave of embarrassment and horror washing over her as she watched Locke’s head bob up and down over his lap, urged by Cardan’s tight grip. She knew that Locke had been interested, but she hadn’t realized both of them would work so fast. And she hadn’t realized that Cardan would take him up on it. She wondered if they’d even kissed, or if they’d just gone straight to this. She felt dizzy and nauseous, the walls closing in on her the longer she looked. She couldn’t breathe.

Cardan’s naked torso glinted with droplets of water, which fell from his dark waves, rolling over his defined chest, marked by a steel bar through each nipple, and down the thin path of hair that led to where Locke’s face was covering. But from what she could see, it turned out the SUV was in fact, not overcompensating for anything.

A hot blush streaked across Jude’s cheeks and chest. Surely, her face was on fire with how hot she suddenly felt. Sweat dampened her palms, and her heartbeat thundered loudly in her ears, trying to drown out the indecent sounds of Locke’s mouth slurping and sucking.

Jude reached for the door, fumbling with her clammy fingers, but her hand slid as she turned the knob, and Cardan’s eyes opened slowly, a lazy smile on his face, his dark eyes staring straight at her, as if he expected her there.

He didn’t take his eyes off of her, didn’t stop his measured pace, as Locke worked him. Cardan simply curled his lips up into an uneven smile, his chin lifting slightly in her direction. His eyes, blown out with lust ,stared her down, pinned her where she stood, and it was only when he closed his eyes again and moaned loudly that Jude finally regained her sanity.

The door pushed open easily beneath her grasp, and Jude barely had enough sense to grab her bag before running out to the parking lot.

The cold winter afternoon felt like knives against her flushed cheeks. She breathed hard, willing the image of Cardan with his pants around his ankles to subside from her brain, but it was useless. That cocky smile, that blissed out expression would haunt her forever.

Jude took another shower when she got home, but even scrubbing her skin raw didn’t help. She felt unhinged. Dirty. Upset. She couldn’t shake her unease all through the rest of the afternoon and barely ate at dinner, much to Madoc’s delight.

And as Jude’s body finally gave way to unconsciousness that night, her dreams were plagued with dark eyes, lithe bodies slick with wet, and coy smiles.


	5. Chapter 5

Jude rubbed her temple, which throbbed with pain from too little sleep and caffeine deprivation. Images of Cardan and Locke swam through her mind, distracting her, no matter how hard she tried to focus on the new choreography. Jude was ready to punch something; she’d never had a problem picking up moves before, and Cardan was making her look incompetent. Not only that, but Madoc was getting progressively more frustrated with her.

“No, it’s crossover with arms, tilt, arabesque then into the lift,” Madoc yelled as Jude fumbled the order of the choreography again. “Try it again.”

Jude marked the arm motion and titled her torso to the side, then lifted her leg and spun toward Cardan, who waited patiently with open arms, ready to assist in the lift, the picture of rested and calm.

Jude was even more bothered by that part.

She hopped up and gasped as Cardan’s fingers brushed beneath her breasts. Jude snapped her head towards his smirking face, and she couldn’t help but jab her elbow into his shoulder. The small smile disappeared quickly as Cardan hissed in pain and let Jude wriggle out of his grasp. She breathed deeply, brows furrowed as she glared daggers in his general direction.

“What the hell?” He rubbed at his tender muscle.

“That’s not my waist, Cardan,” Jude hissed. “Watch your hands.”

Cardan rolled his dark eyes. “You’re just so much shorter than Nicasia,” he explained seriously, but Jude could see the amusement in his eyes. “I just need to adjust.”

“Well, adjust faster,” Jude seethed. She knew he was doing it on purpose. And it was pushing her to her limit. Cardan held up his hands in apology.

“Take five,” Madoc sighed, clearly exasperated with the pair in front of him.

That was fine by Jude. She grabbed her empty water bottle and walked out into the hallway to fill it at the water fountain. Cardan slinked up behind her as the water poured into the bottle, and Jude could feel herself tense at the feeling of him hovering behind her.

“Can I help you?” she ground out, refusing to look over her shoulder.

“I should be asking you the same thing,” Cardan retorted quicky. “I’ve never seen you so out of sorts,” he continued.

“I didn’t sleep well,” Jude replied, screwing the top onto her bottle and taking a long sip.

“Funny,” Cardan said. “I slept like a rock.”

Jude couldn’t help but grimace, remembering why Cardan was so well rested. Images of his lithe body in the throes of ecstasy flashed through her mind. She didn’t know why it irritated her so much. But it did.

“Gross.”

“Hmm,” Cardan hummed, his dark eyes slowly perusing Jude’s form. She suddenly felt self-conscious.

“What?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I didn’t realize you were such a slut shamer,” Cardan retorted, his eyes suddenly amused with his own realization.

Jude knew he was trying to rile her up – but she was too aggravated and exhausted and couldn’t help but take the bait.

“I’m not,” she said, jutting her chin out stubbornly.

“I mean, you’re clearly judging me. So, either you’re offended by my sexual activity, or you’re homophobic,” Cardan prattled on, circling the water bottle in his hand with his hand, moving it up and down the cylinder in the most phallic motion he could imagine. Jude cringed again. “Neither is a good look.”

“I just think sex should be private,” she replied, her face warming slightly as she continued to track Cardan’s hand’s motions around his water bottle.

Cardan barked out a loud laugh. “That’s rich, coming from the girl who barged into the men’s locker room.”

Jude’s blush deepened. He had a point, but Jude had no idea what she’d be walking into when she’d gone to confront him.

“You know what I think?” Cardan took a step toward her, infringing upon her personal, and Jude inhaled sharply as his finger twisted itself in one of her chestnut curls. She held her breath, her body going still beneath his touch. “I think you’re jealous.” Cardan’s lips twitched upwards into a wry smile as fury overcame Jude.

“In your dreams,” Jude bit back, pushing his hand away from her face, out of her hair. She needed space.

Cardan bit his lip and his dark eyes became somehow impossibly darker. “Oh, dear Jude, you have no idea how right you are. The things you do with me in my dreams would positively _shock_ you.”

“What, like stab you?” She mimed attacking him, her arm poised with an imaginary blade in her hand.

Cardan laughed, his head tilted back as the joyous noise reverberated through the hallway. “That wouldn’t be shocking to either of us, now would it?” he said, taking another step closer to her. Jude instinctively took a step back, needing to maintain her space.

As if challenged, Cardan took another step forward, until Jude had backed up into the wall. She hadn’t realized she’d inadvertently trapped herself. With no escape, Cardan hovered over her, looming tall and far too interested in her. She’d never been the object of his attention like this before, and it was unnerving. Jude shivered, feeling his warmth radiate between them. 

He leaned down, his breath ghosting over her face as he whispered, “If you need a teacher, just let me know. I’d be most happy to educate you,” he smiled again, and Jude suddenly wasn’t so sure he was making fun of her or not. “With proper instruction maybe you’d finally see that sex isn’t evil.”

“You’re disgusting,” Jude breathed. She attempted to inject some vitriol into her tone, but it was hoarse and husky even to her own ears.

“Ah yes, there’s that frigid exterior I’d love to thaw…” Cardan ran his finger down her cheek, watching the color bloom beneath his touch, but it was short-lived.

“Frigid?” Jude froze, a proverbial bucket of ice water spilling down her back. “You sexist piece of shit.”

Jude ducked under his arm, breathing hard. It wasn’t the first time a man had used that word against her, and it stung. As if being more interested in skating than physical intimacy somehow made her unworthy of romantic attention.

Cardan’s confident face faltered for a second. “I didn’t mean…”

“Didn’t mean to call me frigid?” Jude scoffed. “A commonly sexist term used to describe women who are more sexually conservative? Asshole.” Jude was sure their break was over, and she didn’t want to stand here having this conversation anymore. She began to head back into the studio.

“Jude, I’m sorry,” Cardan apologized as he trailed after her. “I wasn’t thinking.” He reached out and brushed his hand against his shoulder, retracting it quickly when Jude flinched under his touch. “I meant that you’re cold, icy…not that…”

“Whatever, Cardan.” Jude pulled her hair into a fresh bun, tightening her elastic and securing her loose strands. She wouldn’t show him how his words hurt. Instead, she placed on a ferocious mask, ready to attack her choreography.

She stood in front of the mirror and ignored the way Cardan’s dark eyes continuously sought hers out. She’d look anywhere but at him.

His hands remained respectful as she learned the routine, sticking to the safe spots of her waist, hands and calves.

Jude dug into the choreography, refocusing and letting it fill her body until it became second nature. She refused to let Cardan get under her skin, into her head.

“Much better,” Madoc sighed, relieved, as they finished their final run through of the morning. “Let’s call it.”

Jude was anxious to get the hell out of there, and away from Cardan, but Cardan stopped her again with another apology.

“Jude, I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean—” he began again, but Jude held out her hand to stop him.

“Listen, we’re stuck with each other for the next month during practice,” Jude said. “I can’t get out of that. But, the rest of my life is _mine_. So, just leave me the fuck alone, okay?”

Cardan’s gaze hardened as he nodded, acquiescing to her request.

“Cardan, Jude,” Madoc shouted from back inside the studio. They both walked back to the doorway, waiting expectantly for their coach. “I’m being honored at the Champions On Ice benefit Gala this weekend. As the placing leaders of this team, I’d like you both to introduce me.” Cardan and Jude glanced at each other tentatively. “Please work together to come up with an appropriate tribute. And, yes, it will be black tie, so dress accordingly.” Neither Cardan nor Jude said a word to their coach, so he continued. “Is that going to be an issue?” They shook their heads. “Great.” Madoc clapped his hands. “See you tomorrow.”

Jude glanced over her shoulder at Cardan trailing after her. “I guess we’ll be spending more time together, hm? Should we grab lunch?” he asked.

She spun around, watching a surprised Cardan pause his pursuit. “Nice try, Cardan. Just draft something up and email it to me, and I’ll do a pass and send it back.”

She turned around again, not seeing Cardan and his sagging shoulders in the middle of the parking lot.


	6. Chapter 6

“Whoaaa,” Vivian called from the hallway, doing a doubletake and popping her blonde head back into Jude’s room. “You look…”

“Hot?” Vivi’s girlfriend, Heather, snuck in the room behind her, her eyes perusing the revealing formal dress Jude had wriggled into for tonight’s benefit.

“Will you tie it?” Jude asked, moving her freshly curled hair over her shoulder to reveal her practically bare back. “Knot it twice, please,” Jude asked her sister as she admired herself in the mirror.

Jude was used to wearing tight costumes on the ice, but tonight she’d be baring her skin in front of Elfhame’s best and most promising athletes. She wanted to feel confident, and the bright red of the slinky dress made her feel like a queen. Its high neck gave way to side cut outs and a nearly bare back, dipping low and tied together by a thin string crisscrossing against her skin. The skirt flared from her thighs, the long slit making it possible to walk. The only real negative of the dress is that it was so tight and revealing that it didn’t allow for any kind of undergarments.

“I don’t know, you might want this to be easier to take off than with a double knot,” Vivian laughed, tugging at the strings, pulling the fabric even tighter across her chest. Jude frowned in her sister’s direction and rolled her eyes. The dress was armor, protection from the shots that were likely to fly her way tonight. It was under no circumstances being taken off. Vivi laughed and knotted the string twice. “Fine, fine. Touchy.”

Jude had been dreading this benefit all week. She’d rather be on the ice a million more times than be on solid ground, schmoozing and networking. But not only was she Madoc’s star placing team member, but she was also his adopted daughter. It wasn’t something she went around talking about, since their relationship was complicated at best, but her entire family would be attending the benefit tonight, and she’d have to plaster a smile on her face and play the perfect daughter. Hence, the dress.

Oriana stuck her head in and frowned at Jude. “Oh, dear, I thought you were going to wear the blue dress. Red seems so audacious, doesn’t it?”

Vivienne rolled her eyes at their stepmother, and slung her arm around Jude’s bare waist. “I think she looks perfect.”

“There’s not enough time to change anyway,” Oriana sighed, twirling at her white blonde hair. “The limo is here.”

Downstairs, Madoc was already in the limo with Taryn, Jude’s mirror image twin. Whereas Jude looked brazen in her figure-hugging red gown, Taryn looked angelic and demure in a flowing blush dress, with a giant skirt of layers of tulle. She looked like a fucking flower. If Taryn was the soft petals of a blooming flower, then Jude was the thorny vines of a prickling rose bush, sharp edges warning others to stay away.

Jude ignored her family’s excited chatter, breathing in and out, preparing herself for the evening. She even turned down a glass of champagne, wanting to keep her head on straight. She pulled out the small index card from her purse with her introduction for Madoc later in the evening. She’d actually kept most of what Cardan had drafted, surprisingly. It was sweet and smart with just enough humor. She was fairly shocked when she’d received his email the other night. She had no idea Cardan could sound so… sincere. But she supposed his talent in performing was his ability to act.

The limo pulled up to the hotel all too soon, and as Madoc and Oriana meandered on the step and repeat, having their photo taken by the event photographer, Jude and her sisters made their way to their table.

Jude froze as she spotted a familiar face already seated at their table with a glass of champagne in his hand.

She’d been so used to seeing a sweaty, unadorned Cardan in rehearsal that she forgot _this_ was the Cardan she’d previously known. Ostentatious to the max in a gold embroidered black suit, his eyes darkened with smudged black liner and a shimmering highlighter emphasizing his sharp cheekbones, he looked positively ridiculous. He tapped his black polished nails against the table, drumming them in boredom as he sipped his drink. Jude watched as his throat bobbed with his large swallow, his jaw tilting up as he finished the remnants of liquid in the thin glass.

“Cardan!” Vivienne greeted Jude’s teammate with an enthusiastic smile, and Cardan stood to hug her quickly. She’d forgotten they were friendly with each other – Vivienne had gone to school with Cardan’s sister. “How do you feel, sitting at the family table?” she asked as she pulled out of the hug.

Cardan’s onyx eyes found Jude over Vivienne’s shoulder, and she resisted the urge to wrap her arms around her body as they slowly trailed down the skintight fabric of her dress, widening slightly as she put her purse down, showing off part of her back.

“Jude,” he said, his voice thick with mocking. “That dress is simply terrible. Let me help you take it off.”

Jude rolled her eyes at his antics and slid into her seat, which was unfortunately next to his.

“I need a refill,” he said, holding his empty glass up. “Can I get anything for anyone?” he asked, looking directly at Jude. “Jude, dear?”

Jude’s lips turned down as she shifted toward him. “How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not your _dear_ , darling?”

Cardan laughed heartily, his eyes lighting up with amusement, and for some reason it made Jude even more furious that he wasn’t annoyed by her reply. She wondered what she’d have to do to get under Cardan’s skin the way he got under hers.

“I can get it myself,” she said, excusing herself from the table and heading toward the bar in the back of the room. She didn’t particularly want to drink, but she needed to get away from Cardan’s prying gaze.

As Jude sipped at her wine, she heard a throat clear behind her. She spun, ready to tell Cardan to leave her alone again when she saw who’d made the annoyed noise. And it wasn’t Cardan.

Jude hadn’t seen Valerian in two years, since his hockey team started training at a different rink, and she hadn’t been prepared to see him tonight. Since their breakup two years ago, he’d filled out – his lanky teenage form developing into a broad-shouldered man. While he used to be just a few inches taller than her, he now stood nearly a full foot above her, wide and imposing in his stature. He smiled broadly at her, showing off a toothy grin. At least his hockey career hadn’t knocked out any teeth … yet.

“Val,” she said coldly from behind her glass. She had no intention of smiling back at the boy who had made her feel like a freak for not being ready to have sex.

“Jude,” he replied, his voice low. “You’ve grown.” He paused, his eyes slowly trailing across her chest. “In all the right places.”

He ran his hand down her bare arm, and Jude shuddered in disgust, taking a small step back. He took another step forward, and grabbed Jude by the waist. Too tightly. His fingers pinched into the bare skin of her side, and she struggled to escape his grasp.

“Come on, Judy,” he cooed, using the nickname she absolutely loathed more than anything. “You don’t wear a dress like this unless you want someone to take you out of it. You wouldn’t let me fuck you two years ago, but it looks like things have changed.”

Jude’s entire body stiffened at his words. _Frigid_. She remembered them well. The word rung in her ears in both Val and Cardan’s voices.

“And you haven’t changed a bit,” she bit back. “Let me go, Val,” she grit out between clenched teeth. She didn’t want to start a scene – not on Madoc’s big night, when so many eyes would be on her and her family. But she could feel the heat from Valerian’s body and smell the alcohol on his breath with him this close, and she had no intention of letting him get any closer.

“Oh, shit!” Cardan stumbled behind Valerian, accidentally spilling his newly acquired glass of wine all over Valerian’s jacket sleeve.

“Fuck!” Valerian jumped back, releasing Jude from his grasp, and she took a large breath and an even bigger step back. Jude could have sworn Cardan’s eyes flicked to the spot on her side where Val’s hand had just been.

“Whoops!” Cardan laughed as Valerian pulled off his now-stained jacket. He rolled up his wet shirt sleeve, trying to hide the red stain that had sunk into the fabric with a sigh.

“Cardan Greenbriar,” Valerian laughed. “You fucking drunk.”

Cardan laughed raucously, suddenly much drunker than he’d been mere minutes ago when Jude had left him at their table. He wrapped an arm around Valerian’s waist, ignoring Jude’s presence. “You owe me another drink, asshole,” he said, and Valerian rolled his eyes.

“It’s an open bar.”

“Still,” Cardan insisted. “Come with me. Tell me all about your adventures in skating, and I’ll tell you mine.” He looked over at Jude. “Did Jude tell you who her newest partner is?”

Valerian looked between the two of them, and his lips curled into a wry smile. “No way. How is it having a partner who refuses to be touched?” he asked, and Cardan smiled. “I’ll be seeing you, Judy,” he said, much like a threat as he and Cardan wandered back toward the bar.

“Go fuck yourself,” Jude said with an overexaggerated smile to his turned back and stalked back to the table.

Everyone was sitting, sipping drinks at the table, ready for the benefit to begin. But Jude just kept becoming more and more furious. Cardan returned to their table shortly, and unsurprisingly, he was amazing at schmoozing. He had Oriana wrapped around his finger within minutes, and even Heather, who had a hard time talking to new people was laughing at his anecdotes. It seemed he got along with everyone except Jude. And Jude was having a hard time figuring out why. Were they right? Was she frigid? By the time it was time to introduce Madoc, she was practically steaming with rage and confusion.

The event attendant pulled her and Cardan from their table and led them backstage to wait to be cued. And under the soft blue light in the wings, Cardan gasped slightly.

“What?” Jude snapped.

“Did Val do that?” he asked of the angry red welts that were now visible on her side. She knew he’d dug into her skin hard, but she hadn’t realized _how_ hard.

“Shit,” Jude grumbled, reaching into her purse for some concealer. She only hoped it’d work okay. She couldn’t quite reach the entire mark and was afraid of smudging the makeup on her dress. This was a nightmare.

“Here,” Cardan said, dabbing some makeup on his finger and tapping it into her side. She shivered slightly at the feel of the cold liquid being pressed against her warm skin.

She swallowed thickly as his fingers swiped around the red marks, his eyes concentrating on the exposed flesh under his fingertips.

“He’s an asshole,” Cardan said, not looking up from his work.

“I thought you two were friends,” Jude said. Cardan tipped his face up and smirked.

“You know what they say. Assholes of a feather…”

“Funny.”

Cardan paused and swiped his thumb one last time, blending the concealer against the harsh red marks, before standing up.

He held his arm out, causing Jude to crinkle her brow in confusion, and he rolled his eyes and gently placed her arm around his, before stepping out onto the stage, leading them to the podium.

Cardan easily began his part of the introduction, not bothering to look at the index card Jude had printed out for both of them. Of course. Cardan was apparently a natural at everything. It irked Jude even more as she stumbled over the compliments about her father slash coach.

“In honor of all the incredible work Madoc has done in the skating world,” Jude said. “Cardan and I will be selling skates from some of the greatest athletes of our time. All proceeds will go to Madoc’s favorite charity, Go Skating, a foundation that provides skating equipment to underprivileged youths with exceptional promise in skating,” Jude finished.

“Without further ado, please stand for Coach Madoc.”

Madoc slid onto the stage, beaming wildly as he gave hugs to both Cardan and Jude. Jude’s fake smile hurt her cheeks with how much she was forcing herself to maintain.

Cardan led Jude backstage to where the baskets of skates were waiting for them, and he handed one to Jude. She sighed loudly.

“I can’t believe people actually buy this shit for $500 a pop,” she laughed at the overflowing basket of broken in skates which had seen much better days.

“I don’t know, I’d probably pay big bucks to have a skate used by…” He pulled out the tag from the inside of one of the skates. “Kristi Yamaguchi?” He chuckled softly. “Damn, I’d buy that.”

“It’s a smelly, used skate,” Jude complained.

Cardan rifled through the basked. “I wonder if there’s a Jude Duarte skate in here.”

Jude snorted. “Why? You have a foot fetish?

Cardan smirked. “Only for you, Jude dear.”

He leaned closer to her, his face encroaching into her personal space, and Jude reflexively grabbed a skate from the basket and held it up against his throat, the blade pressing slightly into the skin beneath his jaw. He gulped and smiled, his eyes flicking around her face, trying to figure out what she was doing.

Jude’s anger flared again. “I have been harassed one too many times tonight, Cardan,” she whispered. “Your innuendo is wearing thin. If I want to be kissed, I’ll do the kissing.”

Cardan’s throat bobbed against the blade again. “And do you?” he asked, his dark eyes probing into hers. “Want to be kissed?”

“No,” Jude breathed, but her face had inched towards his without conscious thought. What was she doing? She hated Cardan. She wanted no part of this. Yet she couldn’t stop herself. Some weird inexplicable draw. He was right; she _did_ want to kiss him. Just to know what the fuss was all about. And that made her hate him even more.

“Liar,” he whispered back, seeing through her completely.

Without removing the skate against his throat, Jude leaned in closer. Cardan’s fists clenched at his side, clearly wanting to reach out and touch her, but he kept them to himself as her lips brushed against his softly.

His breath hitched beneath her touch, his lips parting slightly as she increased pressure against his mouth. Before she knew what was happening, Jude had knotted her free hand into his hair, tugging his face closer to hers, her tongue caressing his gently as he kissed her back.

His hands gently wrapped around her waist, pulling her into the hardness of his lithe body, and Jude groaned at how horrible and amazing it was. Her body came alive under his touch, burning like fire, consumed by a sudden wave of desire unlike anything she’d ever felt before.

She pulled back, breathing hard, and let the skate fall limply to the floor.

Cardan was breathing just as hard, she noticed, his chest rising and falling hard with each pant. His hand went up to his neck, where there was a faint red line across his throat where the blade of the skate had pressed in too close.

“Jude,” he breathed quietly, and in a rush, Jude realized what she’d just done.

“This never happened,” she snapped, turning away from Cardan and grabbing the skate from the floor.

_Oh gods, what had she done?_


	7. Chapter 7

Jude couldn’t focus. She’d tried to go to the rink and skate out whatever lapse of mental clarity she’d experienced the night prior, but not even the smooth feel of ice beneath her feet was enough to calm her racing mind. She kept repeating the same three things, over and over, and she was sure she was about to drive herself insane.

Jude had kissed Cardan.

Jude couldn’t stop thinking about Cardan.

Jude was a fucking idiot.

Her thoughts ping ponged from his soft lips to his hands burning through the fabric of her dress to his bewildered expression as she fled backstage to his ire as she ducked away from his gaze the rest of the night.

What had she been thinking? What had possessed her to act so rashly? Had she forgotten that she was spending every day for the next month with him? And potentially beyond that, if Madoc saw fit? Had seeing Val really muddled her brain so much that she had felt it necessary to throw herself at the first person she saw? And why did that person have to be Cardan? _Cardan._ Of all people.

Jude had prided herself on being immune to his charms, but as she brushed her finger over her still-tingling lips where she could feel phantom caresses of his forceful kiss, she knew she’d been fooling herself. No one was immune to Cardan’s charms. Least of all her. She couldn’t deny the way she felt her body come alive at his touch, a sudden raging inferno where she only once felt ashes and embers.

Jude wasn’t sure how she was supposed to see him again. Thank god she had a full day to herself to figure out what she would do during rehearsal tomorrow. She needed the twenty four hours to regroup. If only she could stop thinking about his god damned mouth.

By the time Jude got back home from the rink, the rest of her family was finally rising from their alcohol-induced slumber.

“You know,” Taryn yawned, sleep still thick in her throat. “Sundays are for resting.”

Madoc’s sharp eyes went to the bag slung over Jude’s shoulder. “You went to the rink?”

“Just trying to stay on top of all my new choreography, Coach,” Jude lied through her teeth. But Madoc seemed satisfied.

“Be sure to stretch today. And rest.” He paused. “One day of rest is important. Otherwise you’ll get injured. And I can’t have another injury on this team.”

“Yes, sir.”

Taryn rolled her eyes and poured herself a large mug of coffee. “As if Jude knows what rest means,” she said with a sigh.

Jude’s twin could have never been a skater. Madoc had tried to get them to go into pairs together, but Taryn’s work ethic was… lacking. She’d much rather spend her time on her phone than practicing.

“I rest,” Jude said, indignant.

Taryn smiled softly and sighed. “Sure you do.”

“Fine,” Jude snapped. “What are you doing today? What restful activity are you going to engage in? Maybe I’ll join you.”

Taryn raised an eyebrow. “I’m meeting Vivi and Heather at the mall.” She paused. “Want to come?”

Jude was a thousand percent sure Taryn had invited Jude to her daily activity because she was completely assured of Jude’s rejection of the idea; they weren’t exactly the type of twins who spent time together. But Jude couldn’t think of a better activity to keep her fraught mind occupied. At least while shopping she’d hopefully be so annoyed she’d have no choice but to stop thinking about last night.

“Sure,” Jude replied, causing Taryn’s eyes to widen.

“Really?” Jude shrugged in response. “Um, okay,” Taryn said, clearly bewildered. “I’m aiming to leave at noon.”

“I’ll be ready.”

Jude showered quickly, for fear that if she lingered under the warm spray of water that she would do something incredibly stupid. Like imagine in vivid detail the way Cardan’s tongue was so much softer than she anticipated while she ran her hands over her soapy body. Nope. She would _not_ indulge in those thoughts. She still loathed every part of him.

Jude let the small flames of fury lick at her wounds. She relished in the familiar feeling of being annoyed with Cardan. Much better than thinking about other things regarding him.

. . .

“Are you sure you aren’t bored?” Taryn asked, stepping out of the dressing room in another outfit. She frowned in the mirror, tugging the sweater down and then fluffing it up, clearly displeased with the way it looked on her, though Jude couldn’t imagine why. It looked fine.

Jude rolled her eyes. “I’m positive. This is… fun?”

Taryn laughed as she took in her twin’s tone. “You’re totally lying, but, whatever.” She looked Jude over, who was slumped against the wall, phone in hand, rewatching practice video. “Only one more outfit, and then I’m finished, I swear,” Taryn continued, and Jude shrugged, content to let her sister shop to her heart’s content.

“Wanna text Viv and see where she and Heather are?” Taryn shouted over the closed door.

“Sure,” Jude replied, getting out her phone to text her other sister.

**Where r u?**

Vivi replied with a string of makeup emojis, leaving Jude flummoxed.

**I don’t know what that means** , she replied.

Vivi replied with a facepalm emoji and one word in all caps: **SEPHORA** _ **.**_

“They’re at Sephora,” Jude said, not looking up from her phone as she texted back two thumbs up emojis.

“Ooh, good, I just ran out of mascara,” Taryn said, swinging the door open and revealing her last outfit. She looked herself over in the mirror, frowning slightly as she tugged at the sleeves of the dress. “Ugh, why does nothing look right today?”

Jude felt that, as she looked herself over. Nothing felt right today. Her jeans and t-shirt felt too tight, making it hard to take a full breath. She felt like she was itchy inside her own skin. Shopping had barely distracted her at all. And she still hadn’t figured out what she was going to say to Cardan tomorrow. She was calling today a wash. 

Taryn disappeared into the changing room again, and reappeared quickly in her own clothes, leaving an entire dressing room filled with clothes she apparently wasn’t getting. Jude did _not_ understand shopping. What a waste of time and energy.

The smell of soft pretzel wafted through the floor as they made their way to Sephora, and Jude asked Taryn if they could stop and get one.

“Are you sure?” Taryn asked, eyeing the butter and salt covered dough glistening in the window. “It’s not like you to carbo load outside a competition day…”

Jude rolled her eyes. Taryn had spent her entire life witnessing Madoc’s policing of Jude’s food intake, but today Jude wanted nothing more than salty-carby goodness in her mouth. And she refused to feel guilty about it.

She had about half the pretzel before she started to feel ill and handed the rest to Taryn. She felt the pretzel sloshing around her stomach uncomfortably and couldn’t help but be annoyed that Taryn was right. She shouldn’t have had the stupid fucking pretzel. Although it was nice to feel an uncomfortable sensation that wasn’t thinking about Cardan for a few minutes.

Taryn barely waited for Jude’s small nod of approval to peel off once they got into Sephora. Jude didn’t care. She planned to trail through the aisles of the giant store, looking for her other sister. She was rounding the third aisle when she heard a familiar voice.

“When you asked if I wanted to hang out, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind,” Lock grumbled, and Jude laughed internally. She wondered who had dragged Locke to the mall today. She felt the absolute same.

She was about to call out to Locke and save him from his shopping woes when she spotted a familiar face next to him. The one she had purposefully gone to the mall to _avoid_. 

Her feet paused as he flicked his dark, angry eyes toward Locke – a look she thought was solely reserved for her – and frowned. “I told you I wasn’t in the mood.”

“I’ve never known you _not_ to be in the mood,” Locke complained, and Jude realized that she was just standing still, staring and eavesdropping on a conversation she absolutely didn’t want to be a part of. Not wanting to hear or see Cardan’s reaction, she spun on her foot and turned the other way, crashing directly into Vivi.

“Jude!” she said far too loudly for the small aisle. Jude couldn’t help but cringe. “There you are!” Vivi looked around the aisle, filled with glitters and shadows. “Looking for something in particular?” she asked, a skeptical smile spreading across her face.

Jude sighed loudly as she heard a throat clear behind her. She really hoped she’d have a few more hours before she had to confront him. But apparently the universe had other plans.

“Twice in two days?” Vivi laughed, running around Jude to embrace Cardan. “What a privilege.”

“Likewise,” Cardan said smoothly.

“Locke!” Taryn squealed, her shopping bag in hand, launching herself at Jude’s partner. The pair had become close during Taryn’s brief stint in skating, but they apparently hadn’t caught up in a while because Taryn immediately pulled Locke aside, asking her to tell her everything about his life. Locke looked wistfully at Cardan as Taryn pulled him away, but Jude gulped as she realized that Cardan’s eyes hadn’t left her since he spotted her trying to flee the aisle.

“So, what kind of trouble did you get into last night?” Vivi asked Cardan, poking him with her sharp elbow and wiggling her eyebrows.

Cardan smiled softly and laughed. “Who? Me? Trouble?”

Jude could feel the pretzel again, and she attempted to swallow back the wave of nausea that appeared as she vividly recalled Cardan’s mouth on hers for the hundredth time since it happened.

Vivi rolled her eyes and smirked. “You forget I’ve known you your entire life, babe,” she laughed. “And I know you love makeup,” she said, pointing at the products in front of him, “But, I didn’t think red lipstick was really your style.”

Cardan swallowed, and Jude’s eyes dragged over his pale throat, watching it bob.

“So, who was she?” Vivi prodded, and Jude took a deep breath, trying to quell her churning stomach. He wouldn’t actually say, would he?

Cardan smirked, his lips curling up as he batted his dark lashes at Vivi. “Someone far too famous to name drop.”

Vivi sighed loudly. “No fun,” she pouted, and Cardan shrugged. “One time or repeat?”

“Nosy!” Heather chided her girlfriend, but Vivi had no shame. She loved to gossip, and apparently Cardan had no problem indulging her.

“Depends on what she wants,” Cardan said far too calmly for Jude’s raging nausea.

“Ooh,” Vivi said, her face lighting up with a bright smile. “Do you think she’s into it? Def a repeat customer?”

Cardan’s smile widened as he looked Jude over, and Jude could feel herself paling under his scrutinizing gaze. A soft sweat broke out beneath her hair at the nape of her neck. She felt clammy all over.

“Can’t tell,” he replied, and Jude swallowed again, her saliva somehow dried up in the three minutes Vivi and Cardan had started talking.

“Well, let me know,” Vivi laughed. “I’m invested in red-lips now.”

Heather frowned again and nudged her girlfriend as she reassured Cardan. “You don’t have to do that. Vivi just doesn’t know when things aren’t her business,” she sighed.

“Whatever,” Vivi scoffed. “As if I haven’t heard all about Cardan’s lengthy list of conquests.”

_Conquest._

The word rang throughout Jude’s skull, and suddenly she couldn’t control her nausea any longer. Her stomach lurched as Cardan stared at her, leaping into her throat. She was going to be sick. For real.

She ran to the end of the aisle where the small trash can for makeup wipes was, and heaved up the entire contents of her stomach.

“Jude!” Vivi gasped.

Jude clenched onto the edge of the trash, her knuckles white as she tried to breathe through the remaining nausea.

She spat into the trashcan, and she sighed in relief as a tissue appeared in front of her face. She grabbed it, ignoring the way the dark nailed fingers brushed against hers and quickly retracted as she wiped her mouth and stood up.

“Are you okay?” Vivi asked, concerned, and Jude nodded slightly, ignoring Cardan’s furrowed brow or the way his hand hovered over her back, not wanting to touch her, but not moving further away either.

Taryn reappeared, wrinkling her nose slightly as she took in Jude and what had happened in the trash. “I told you not to have that pretzel.”

“You ready to go?” Locke asked. “I think I deserve a reward for all these hours of shopping,” he winked at Cardan, and Cardan rolled his eyes but did nothing to suppress the smile that curled across his lips.

Jude doubled over and vomited into the trash again.


	8. Chapter 8

Madoc was in a foul mood, and Jude knew she only had herself to blame.

She sipped at her bone broth and slunk beneath the thick blankets on the couch as she ignored the angry whispers coming from the kitchen.

Jude had never taken a sick day in her entire life. She’d once gone to practice with a fever of 102.4, insisting that she was completely fine. So, she knew Madoc’s raised eyebrow at her claiming she needed the day off due to a stomachache was completely warranted.

She should have come up with a better excuse; she knew it was flimsy at best. But, she couldn’t stomach seeing Cardan again. Not when she _still_ couldn’t stop thinking about his lips on hers. She _must_ be ill to be so focused on something so appalling. She felt completely out of her mind. And she knew it wouldn’t be magically fixed by tomorrow when she’d absolutely be forced back to rehearsal, but at least she could have one day off to pretend. She burrowed further into her blankets as Madoc’s voice raised again.

“We’re losing an entire rehearsal day!” he hissed at Oriana’s insistence that Jude should rest if she needed to.

Jude knew she’d have to work twice as hard the rest of the week to make up for today, but that was a sacrifice she was willing to make.

“How are you feeling, sweetie?” Oriana asked, placing a mug of ginger tea on the side table, as she perched herself on the edge of the couch to examine Jude’s face.

“Just tired, mostly,” Jude answered.

Oriana’s slender finger delicately traced the dark circles beneath Jude’s eyes as a prominent frown appeared on her face. She shook her head. “I keep telling him he’s working you too hard.”

“He’s not—” Jude insisted, but Oriana’s stern glare cut her off.

“If you keep going at this rate you’re going to burn yourself out.” She paused, her eyes growing wistful as she whispered, “You need to take care of yourself.”

Jude nodded in understanding. Oriana’s dreams of being a skater had been cut short, just like Nicasia’s with an unexpected injury.

“Why don’t you take that tea upstairs and rest in bed?” Oriana asked, smoothing Jude’s hair out of her face in a strangely maternal move. Jude accepted the comfort wordlessly. She and Oriana had never been particularly close – why would they? When Jude’s step-dad had remarried, someone nearly half his age, Jude hadn’t thought the marriage would make it to the end of the year. She was content to ignore the blonde completely. But here they were, nearly a decade later. “I’ll keep Madoc downstairs,” she said with a wry smile, and Jude forced herself to return it. She wasn’t sure if Oriana was being kind due to guilt or to piss Madoc off, but Jude would accept it. If only to keep herself alone for the rest of the day.

She grabbed the tea and headed back upstairs to her room. She pulled her sweatpants off, content to get cozy in her bed in just an oversized t-shirt. If she was playing hooky she was going to try and enjoy herself as much as possible. She set up her laptop and put on some mindless comedy to watch. But despite feigning sickness, Jude could feel fatigue dragging her under. Maybe she had needed a day off. Before she knew it, her eyes shut.

“Jude?” a soft voice pulled her from her fraught dreams, and she blinked sleep away as her eyes fluttered open, squinting in the mid-afternoon sun filtering through her window.

The face from her dreams peered down at her with curiosity, dark and probing, and Jude felt herself tense as she realized that Cardan was sitting at the foot of her bed.

She pushed herself upright, attempting to tame her wild sleep induced curls while simultaneously wiping at her eyes.

“Creep much?” Her voice was still hoarse from her lengthy nap. “What the hell, Cardan?”

He held up his hands protectively and smirked. “Calm down, I just got here.” He cocked his head to the side as he perused her room. “Your mom?” He asked, not knowing what to call Oriana. “Let me in.”

“Traitor,” Jude mumbled under her breath.

Cardan rolled his eyes and pursed his lips – the ones that had haunted Jude’s thoughts for the last two days. “I just had to see it in person. The infallible Jude Duarte, felled by sickness.” He chuckled as he tugged at the neckline of his thick black sweater. “I have to admit, I was relieved to learn you’d fallen ill, and that my presence wasn’t what caused you to vomit.” His lips curled into a wry smile, and Jude felt her cheeks flush unwittingly.

She grabbed at the edge of her blanket and pulled it over her head, hiding her face away from his haughty gaze. His painted nails peeled the blanket from her, tugging it down to reveal her face to his again, and it was much, much closer than she was expecting. Jude’s breath hitched, her eyes flicking down to his lips and back to his curious eyes again.

He tugged at his dark hair and sighed. “I know you’re not sick, Jude,” he breathed.

Jude couldn’t be _looked_ at like that anymore. There was something about his gaze that managed to see through her always. She reached down and pulled the blankets over her head again.

“Why are you hiding from me?” he asked, his fingers dancing along the edge of her shoulder, through the blanket, slowly creeping up, letting her know he was headed to pull it down again.

“Because I kissed you,” Jude finally grumbled from beneath her comforter, and she frowned as Cardan tugged it down again, a pleased smile across his face as he leaned even closer to her.

“Oh.” Cardan stated, leaning impossibly closer to her face, his nose just a hairs breadth away hers. “Is that all? I get kissed quite a lot, you know,” he smirked.

“Exactly,” Jude huffed. “It’s embarrassing.” She sighed, scrunching her nose in discomfort. He was too close.

“Why?”

“I can’t stop thinking about it,” Jude admitted, her stomach swirling with nerves.

“Is that so?” Cardan asked, his eyes alight with desire as he let his nose brush against hers. Jude gulped. “I don’t blame you,” he said, his warm breath fanning across her face. “It was a very memorable kiss. One of my favorites.”

“Shut up, Cardan,” Jude said, and brought his lips down against her in a hard kiss. Their noses mashed against each other, until there was no room between them. Jude’s hand knotted in his dark hair, tugging him impossibly closer, and Cardan groaned, opening his mouth to her as Jude relished in the waves of desire that prickled across her skin.

This. This is what she had dreamed about. What set her on edge, feeling completely unhinged. What had kept her stomach in knots for the last forty-eight hours.

And when Cardan’s tongue softly brushed against hers, so starkly different from the harsh pressure of his lips against hers, Jude felt as if she’d been lit on fire.

She gasped for air, needing a break from the ceaseless feeling of drowning, but Cardan didn’t cease his affections. Instead, his mouth trailed across her cheek to wrap around the sensitive skin of her ear. She mumbled out something between an “Oh” and an “Ung,” – something so unintelligibly pleasure-filled that she could feel Cardan smile against her as he let his teeth nip at her skin.

Her hands trailed down his torso, pulling him closer until he was sprawled out above her, somehow kicking the comforter down until it pooled by their feet, revealing her bare legs and comfortable underwear, her t-shirt having ridden up around her stomach.

Cardan hovered inches above her body, and she inhaled deeply as his hand ran up her calf, bending her leg at the knee. His curious fingers swept in small circles down the side of her thigh, until they reached the band of her underwear. She shuddered softly as the tip of his finger edged beneath the elastic, just barely touching her where she’d never allowed anyone but her own hands before.

There was a pregnant pause between them, and Jude held her breath as his eyes seemed to ask the question, _Is this okay?_ _Is this what you want?_

“I still hate you,” Jude said suddenly, breaking the thick silence that hung between them as Cardan’s hands perused her body. She expected his ministrations to pause, but he simply grinned, his eyes boring down on her, sparkling with amusement at her words. “And if you gloat about this, or tell a single soul, I’ll have you killed,” she added, heart pounding wildly at the gentle feel of his deft touch.

Cardan’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, a nervous tick that betrayed his outer confidence. “I don’t doubt that for a second, my sweet nemesis.” His voice was low as his fingers slipped further beneath the fabric of her underwear, never stopping swiping back and forth against the sensitive skin of her hip.

She took a deep breath as her legs widened, making room for him between them, and they both exhaled as he let himself fall against her, a lithe finger finally sinking fully under the fabric between her thighs and caressing the skin of her folds.

Jude bit her lip, trying to hold back a moan at the feeling of his finger just barely swiping against her most sensitive part. Her hips lifted ever so slightly, bucking towards his hand, wanting more, needing more, as her feelings overwhelmed her.

Cardan watched her with interest as she squirmed beneath his light touch, legs widening further and hips lifting for more contact, but his finger used the softest of pressure, teasing her until she was panting for more. His obsidian gaze burned darkly as his hand moved beneath the fabric of her underwear, slow calculated movements, until she was a mess beneath him. He loved to torture her; that much was evident.

His finger dipped in further and pulled out just as quickly, leaving Jude annoyed and unsatisfied. She refused to beg him. She just wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.

Instead, she let her own hand slide between them and join his in her underwear. She pressed his fingers against her palm, pushing them against her with all her strength. His eyes widened in shock at Jude’s motions, but she didn’t have time to appreciate it, because suddenly his fingers were inside her, and she felt like she was going to burn alive.

She fought against the moans that threatened to escape her mouth, panting loudly instead, back arched off the mattress as Cardan’s hand moved inside her.

“Please,” Cardan breathed quietly as his thumb pressed against her clit.

Wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her as her orgasm took her by surprise, legs shaking and hands clenching at her bedsheets as Cardan’s mouth swallowed her sounds of pleasure. His hand never ceased until her twitching legs fell against the mattress with fatigue.

Cardan’s lips kissed hers over and over until her heartbeat slowed and her muscles relaxed, feeling like jelly.

Jude was still in a daze when Cardan pulled his hand from between her legs and licked his fingers, looking far too satisfied with himself. But somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to care at this particular moment.

“Oh,” she breathed quietly, and watched as Cardan lifted a dark brow towards her.

“You’re not going to run away from me again, are you?” he asked, and Jude shook her head from side-to-side. She had a feeling if she tried to stand right now, her legs would wobble. She couldn’t run anywhere. “Good. Are you feeling better?” he asked, and Jude wasn’t exactly sure she knew how to answer that question. Was she feeling a sense of satisfaction and relaxation she’d never experienced before? Yes. Was she feeling a combination of confusion, self-loathing and anger? Also yes.

She couldn’t believe she’d let Cardan touch her like that. She’d never let _anyone_ do that. Ever.

But with Cardan, she felt herself at his mercy, ready for whatever his hands and mouth wanted to do to her. She cringed, feeling a sudden pang of disgust with herself.

She pulled the blankets back over her, hiding her body away from his intense gaze.

“I still hate you,” Jude said again, but her voice was so breathy, she knew it rung false, even to her own ears.

“So you’ve said,” Cardan sighed, standing from the bed and straightening his sweater and adjusting himself within his pants.

A soft knock at the door interrupted their conversation as Oriana poked her head in with a relieved smile. “Oh, Jude. You’re looking flushed, I hope that means your fever broke.”

Cardan rested his hand against Jude’s forehead, which was clammy with the aftermath of their encounter. “You are looking better,” he said calmly. “I must be good for your health.”

Jude snorted far too loudly at that.

“Would you like to stay for dinner, Cardan?” Oriana offered, and Cardan shook his head before Jude could even bother to protest.

“No, I’ll let Jude dear get her rest.” Oriana smiled happily at Cardan’s kind words. “But I’ll see you in rehearsal tomorrow bright and early.”

Jude nodded weakly. “Can’t wait.”


	9. Chapter 9

Jude leaned into the strong hand that supported her ribcage and arched her back. Arms extended, she felt like she was flying, blades skirting against the smooth ice, barely making contact as Cardan swung them around. Every touch was steeped in seduction, the tension thick between the pair in the best way possible – bodies warm and simmering as they swirled around each other delicately.

Jude let her instincts guide her as her hips jutted forward, and she slid between his legs. His fingers trailed down her arm, letting her move freely, but kept the barest of grasps on her hand, not letting her free. She breathed deeply as she laced her fingers with his, and she gasped as he pulled her into him, flush against his body, tucking her head into his chest. The movement felt so natural, she barely even heard the sound of Madoc’s applause as she glanced upward at the dark eyes searching her face.

The rest of the world came back into focus as Cardan finally stepped away, letting his arms hang limply at his sides as his chest raised and fell rapidly from his skating efforts.

“That was… good,” Madoc said dryly, but Jude couldn’t help the smile that curled at her lips. Their coach wasn’t exactly known for words of affirmation, and with Jude playing hooky the day before, she’d been sure they were in for a world of criticism. It seemed, however, that whatever was going on between her and Cardan was _improving_ their skating.

“Maybe I should take a day off more often,” Jude joked, causing Madoc to frown.

“Perhaps.”

Jude skated to the ledge to grab her water bottle and bit back a smile as she felt Cardan’s fingers brush against the small of her back, causing a small jolt up her spine, as he followed her path, reaching for his own water next to hers.

She’d thought today would be awkward – after all, he’d had his fingers inside her less than twelve hours ago. But, surprisingly, being around Cardan made her feel strangely relaxed – euphoric, even. It had led to her best day of skating; she knew from the look on Madoc’s face that even he was surprised by her newfound grace. His number one criticism of Jude’s skating had never been technical – she could nail every jump and lift with the best of them – but he’d said the reason she’d never made it to first place was her lack of emoting. But today Jude felt as if she’d been steeped in emotions. They came tumbling out her every pore as she and Cardan glided over the ice. And it showed.

She watched as Cardan brought his water bottle to his lips and gulped it down, his chest still heaving from their run through. He pushed his damp hair off his forehead, using the sweat to slick back his dark strands, and Jude couldn’t help but stare at his long fingers as they made their way across his head and down the back of his neck, trailing against his flushed skin with absurd grace.

“What?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow in her direction.

“Nothing,” Jude said, shaking her head and hoping her cheeks weren’t aflame from her less than innocent thoughts about what those long fingers could do, what they could pull from her.

At the appearance of Cardan’s smirk, she knew he’d seen right through her.

Madoc cleared his throat. “Take ten, and then we’ll run it again.”

The pair of skaters nodded and made their way to the exit, Cardan arriving first. He extended his hand for Jude to climb over the rail first, and she rolled her eyes at his overzealous chivalry. She stepped across the threshold and was surprised to feel him immediately behind her, his hands ghosting against her sides as he followed her out, his front dangerously close to her back.

She threw a look of annoyance over her shoulder and huffed as Cardan’s eyes stayed level, not glancing down at her at all as he led her to the bleachers.

While she’d felt euphoric on the ice with him, her feelings of bliss started to fade away on solid ground, replaced by an unfamiliar feeling of nerves, swirling in her stomach.

She ignored Cardan as she sat on the bleacher and swung her leg over to the other side, straddling it so she could extend her legs and stretch. She rolled her ankles in methodical circles and leaned forward to release the taut muscles in her hamstrings. She groaned loudly as she walked her hands out, getting a better stretch.

Jude inhaled quickly as she felt Cardan’s hands grasp her waist and pull her towards him. Before she had time to think, her legs were straddling his lap, flung over his thighs, as their heat pressed against each other.

“Oh!” Jude gasped, and Cardan’s lips frowned as his arms fell to his side. He didn’t remove Jude from her position, but she was free to push back if she wanted. As her eyes scanned his pink lips and furrowed brow, she found that she wanted to do anything but move away from the boy in front of her.

“Sorry,” he apologized. “I just thought…”

He cleared his throat uncomfortably, and Jude looked around, her gaze fluttering from side to side. “Madoc?” she asked, and he breathed a relieved sigh.

“Phone call,” he replied quickly. His face leaned in toward hers, his cold pale nose brushing against her tanned one, causing her breath to stutter. Her eyes were wide, staring into his – an unblinking mirror of confusion as his lips pressed against hers. Just as they were before, they were unfathomably soft, pressing gently and nipping against hers until she opened them for him. As his tongue swiped against hers, the room fell out of balance again, her head spinning with that unfamiliar swirl of sensations that would have surely knocked her off her feet had she been standing.

She pulled away, breathing hard, her hand pressed against his chest, where she could feel his pulse pounding against her palm.

A small laugh escaped her lips as a warm sensation crept over her body. “You can’t keep kissing me like that.”

“Like what?” he asked, sounding genuinely perplexed.

“Like _that_ ,” Jude laughed again. “Stealing all the air from my lungs until I think I’m going to pass out.”

A small pink tinged the tips of Cardan’s ears, but his cocky smile was back in place, his white teeth blinding Jude with their bright perfection. “Jude…” His smile grew. “Are you saying I take your breath away?”

Jude shoved his shoulder. “Asshole.”

“Hey, you said it!”

His smile faded quickly as he grew serious, cocking his head to the side. Jude resisted the urge to push back the stray piece of hair that fell back into his eyes, draping over his forehead as his brows furrowed again.

“If you don’t want me to kiss you anymore, I can stop.”

Even the mere suggestion of it made Jude feel queasy, which was strange, because a day ago, the notion of facing Cardan made her feel ill. But now she couldn’t imagine a day without his lips on hers. It was like a drug, and she needed to keep taking it.

“No!” she exclaimed, probably too effusively, considering the way Cardan’s smile reappeared, his dark eyes trailing over her face and down her body. She shivered under his piercing gaze and cleared her throat. “I was actually thinking…”

She paused, trying to parse out what she was going to say to him. It was dangerous. Risky at best, what she was proposing. But all she knew is that she’d never skated better in her life, and she knew that the way Cardan made her body feel – as if he’d unlocked something from deep inside her – was partially, if not mostly responsible.

“That sounds dangerous,” he smirked, causing her to shove him again.

“Shush,” she warned him. “I have a proposition for you.”

“Oh?” he asked as he bit down on his bottom lip.

“I was thinking…”

“About?”

“Sex.” Jude paused. 

Cardan inhaled too sharply and coughed out what sounded something between a laugh and a grunt. “Uhh…”

“You know a lot about sex, right?” Jude asked, her tone all business now that she’d finally said what she’d been thinking about all morning.

“I mean, I wouldn’t say _a lot_ ,” Cardan said, causing Jude to frown. She knew that wasn’t true. He laughed again. “Okay, okay. Yes. I know a fair amount about sex. Why?”

“Well,” Jude cleared her throat as Cardan moved his hand to twirl one of her sweat-dried ringlets with his finger. “I was thinking you could teach me.”

Cardan’s finger paused its twirling as his eyes grew confused. “What?”

“I want you to teach me how to have sex,” she said as confidently as she could muster, ignoring Cardan’s gaping mouth as it opened and closed wordlessly. “If today is any indication, getting in touch with my body is only going to make me the best skater I can be. And, I know with you I don’t have to worry about _feelings_ or whatever. I can just be… whatever.” Jude barreled forward. “And I know you discovered that I’m completely inexperienced, but I can be a fast learner.” She sighed again. “Please. For the Nationals win. I need it.”

Cardan finally snapped his mouth shut, his teeth grinding slightly as his jaw clenched and unclenched. A nervous tic, Jude had noticed.

“You want me to teach you to have sex.” He paused and rubbed at his chin with his free hand. “So we can win Nationals?”

“Locke told me you perform better when you’re fucking your skating partner, who I know has been Nicassia, but….”

Cardan’s jaw dropped again, completely horrified. “I… what? No. I don’t know where he got that. Nicassia and I haven’t been involved in… years. And you definitely should not feel any sort of obligation to—"

Jude cut him off. “I don’t. That’s why I brought it up.” She cleared her throat. “I would like you to teach me.”

“To have sex,” he repeated, still seeming out of sorts for someone who’d previously seemed so sexually forward. She had no idea why he was recoiling now.

“We don’t need to make it a tawdry thing, Cardan,” she said. “You seemed like you were into it, you know, with the kissing and um, yesterday, but if you’re not…”

“No!” he said, shaking his head. “I am. I’m into it.”

“It’s just a mutually beneficial exchange.”

“Right,” Cardan said, suddenly clipped. “And if it starts to get weird…?” he asked, eyebrow raised.

“Then we stop. No questions asked,” Jude replied, feeling strangely confident.

“Okay,” he said.

“Okay?” she asked. And he nodded. “Tonight?”

Cardan rubbed his forehead, which crinkled beneath his fingers. “Tomorrow?” He shook his head. “Wait, no. Friday?”

Jude sighed. Friday was three whole days away. She guessed her next fix would have to wait until then. She nodded quickly, and he smiled again, though his lengthy swallow gave his nerves away.

“You can come to my place?”

“Text me the address,” Jude said. “Should we kiss on it?” she asked, wondering where her newfound bravery was coming from. She leaned forward slightly and watched as Cardan’s dark lashes fluttered shut as her lips came into contact with his. This time, it was his lips who opened for her, her tongue that brushed against his with more force than she was sure was necessary.

As they separated, Jude felt a rush of confidence at Cardan’s reddened cheeks and swollen lips. She did that.

The pair slid away from each other no the bleachers as they heard the front door shut, Madoc’s footfalls growing louder with each approaching step.

“Back to it?” he asked.

Both of them nodded and returned to their starting position on the ice. Their stiffness melted as the music started up again, and Jude felt the pulsing thrumming thing between them come to life again. It was going to be a long three days.


End file.
